You’re a state agency tasked with building all of Georgia’s roads and many of its other forms of transportation. Demand for “congestion relief” (widening roads) is at an all-time high, and demand for mass transit is increasing. You’re operating at a $7.5 billion deficit. Your chief who was supposed to clean up widely-acknowledged corruption and inefficiency within your agency recently revealed she’s having a relationship with a commissioner who cast the deciding vote to elect her. The commissioner is out, and she probably will be soon.

Things look bad. But cheer up. There’s a solution so obvious that it’s downright astounding that someone hasn’t thought of it first. What is it?

Insurance fraud, of course.

More specifically, insurance fraud involving Transformers.

All GDOT needs to do is to get a couple of Transformers to come in and rip out all of Atlanta’s roads and MARTA lines. We can claim act of God (or giant metal alien robot), collect all the insurance money, then use it to build a real mass transit system and better roads.

If we have access to an Autobot, we can just tell it there are Decepticons hiding under the roads and in the MARTA tunnels or something. If we have access to a Decepticon, we can just tell it flat out we want it to commit insurance fraud and offer it a cut. They’re evil, afterall. Either way, we need to get them to also destroy a few buildings so that it’s not totally obvious we’re just ripping up the infrastructure to collect the insurance.

You’re welcome.