In the first bit of good news I’ve heard in — I don’t know — a bajillion weeks, a federal judge in San Francisco ruled that forcing children to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in school is unconstitutional because of the bogus religious line added in the 1950s.

U.S. District Judge Lawrence Karlton ruled that the pledge’s reference to one nation “under God” violates school children’s right to be “free from a coercive requirement to affirm God.”

I’ll take my freedom without the side order of religious fascism, thank you much. Before you theocratic and jingoistic types get your panties in a twist about my reaction to this, you need to keep the history of the Pledge in mind. The “under God” line was added to the Pledge in 1954, 63 years after it was originally published (in 1891). This was a result of Joseph McCarthy’s orchestrated campaign of religious persecution against non-Christians (the U.S.S.R.’s official national religion was atheism, so he declared all atheists to be communist agents… yeah, no shit).

You might also keep in mind the Pledge was written by a socialist. I don’t like anything that encourages blind allegiance to a cause. That seems counter to the most basic American principle of individual freedom. That goes double when two causes are involved, and one of them requires me to believe in imaginary sky fairies who watch me all the time, even when I’m taking a dump. What kind of twisted deity wants to watch me poop? And how does that reflect on our country when we’re all required to worship a voyeur with a scatological fetish?