Check out the Focus on the Family bookstore. I was rolling on the floor. There’s a whole topic area dedicated to books about browbeating your child into liking muff instead of cock, or vice-versa. Why do they worry about where people choose to put their peckers? Seriously, if it’s all the evil liberals packing fudge and having abortions, then why not just let them kill themselves off? Gay folks won’t have kids unless some straight person donates an egg or pops off in a cup to fill in the other half of the birds-bees equation. I bet not many gay couples take that route, probably adopting kids, so genetically the gay bloodlines would die out eventually. Oh, wait, they think it’s the hippy media forcing sweet little Lucy Prom Queen to chew box. My bad. Still, those aborted fetuses will never grow up to vote like their tree-hugging, free-fucking heathen parents.
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Haha… the other night at Barnes and Noble I wandered into the “Christian Inspiration” section (which, interestingly, is right beside the “Warfare” section) and found myself looking at a book called Every Young Man’s Battle. It’s all about “remaining sexually pure in our sex-saturated culture.” The bits I read in the store were so great that I had to buy it. Sure, I could’ve waited til the next day and looked for it at the library — but why wait? I plan to return it after I’m done with it (so as not to give money to “those people”) but so far it’s proving a rollicking good read. I’ll keep you updated.
Also, you might be interested in listening to the fabulous Focus on the Family teen call-in show “Life on the Edge Live” this Saturday night at 9:00 PM… the topic will be S-E-X. I believe the local station is 91.5 FM. I listen to it when I happen to be in the car on Saturday nights (as I often am) and it’s always great… but it’s been a while since they’ve had a sex show.
I am totally going to try to remember to catch that. Unintentional comedy is the best kind.
I’ll never forget the time I heard Dawson McAllister, a youth evangelist, say at a conference in which 40000 teens were in attendance “The end days are upon us, and now, more than ever it is imperitive that you allow the Holy Spirit to blow through you. No one here is exempt. It will blow you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you…” he then proceeded to tell us just how much head the Holy Spirit was gonna give us at least 20 more times before he stopped.
God damn I miss church. I never got laid so much.
OMG that book is advertised on the “Life on the Edge Live” web site: http://www.family.org/lote/lotelive/
I don’t know if it’s a dynamic ad or what, but when I was there it was in the bottom right corner.
Hilarious.
Sounds like a riot! This one sounds awesome too:
Jesus said love thy neighbor. Who’s to say he didn’t mean LOVE thy neighbor? Endless amusement this site provides.
Let’s not forget that these people are totally ignoring the nature/nurture argument regarding the cause of homosexuality. They sure do know that God didn’t create them that way so they must have actively chosen to be gay or better yet, it’s somehow contagious (stay away you might catch the gay). I remember my defining moment when I decided to forage in foliage instead of hunt the dreaded Trouser Snake. I believe I was two years old, though my memory is a little hazy. I seem to remember Azriel descending from a single ray of sunlight breaking through the otherwise completely cloudy sky and telling me that God made people in the probe/recepticle fashion for a reason. Oh wait, no . . . I don’t remember that at all. I just grew up liking vagina. Funny. It had nothing to do with spirituality. As a matter of fact, why is it that we assume that God made the head, arms, torso, and legs and somewhere between design and implementation phases, the devil slapped on the cock and balls? Wow. I might have to continue this in my own post.
“[W]hy is it that we assume that God made the head, arms, torso, and legs and somewhere between design and implementation phases, the devil slapped on the cock and balls?”
That might just be the quote of the day.
Check out this month’s Harper’s. They have excerpts from some of the abstinence materials being distributed to public school children. That crap is really disturbing.
I can’t take credit for that quote. I’m sure that I heard it somewhere before in similar wording, but am unable to place a name to it. Glad you enjoyed it though!
“[W]hy is it that we assume that God made the head, arms, torso, and legs and somewhere between design and implementation phases, the devil slapped on the cock and balls?â€Â
Great question. I think that it was all made by God, but just as a finger can pull a trigger so can a cock and balls be used incorrectly. Now so that I can be understood and grilled throughly by all of you I will make my point…
I understand that Focus is a group that is reviled the world over. I further understand that people disagree with what they believe. It is popular to disagree with Focus, and more specifically James Dobson (a man that I have met by the way) because of how outspoken he is. People get upset because he is trying to “win” recruits to his side, but what is wrong about that. In California (or is it cal-LEE-four-nya as AH-NOLD calls it) it is allowed for same-sex couples to come in and explain why they are gay to kids in school, but the same freedom is not allowed by heterosexual couples. I know kids can make up there own minds, but this is going on as early as Kindergarten!!! Are you fucking kidding me? Dobson is close-minded about what he believes, but the truly open-minded are the ones trying to convert your kids into their boy and girl toys for 15 years down the road. How about an open playing field? Anybody can say anything anywhere and spout any belief, and then lets leave it to personal inspiration.
BTW adoption rights of homosexuals is a HUGE deal. This has gone through court after court, and oddly was chosen before the gay marriage debate. Why? It would be easier to get married if you could already adopt. You have to know that just as Dobson and Focus on the family has a well-planned agenda so do the proponets of a homosexual lifestyle.
Uh, I don’t think the “proponets of a homosexual lifestyle” are trying to “convert” anybody. They’re just stating that hey, this is one lifestyle and children should be aware of it and not be ignorant and/or hateful.
Eric,
Yeah, making fun of Focus is like kicking a puppy. It’s too easy. As for sexuality discussions, I agree with your principle that you either you talk about all of it or none of it. Public schools do way too much parenting for my tastes. They should stick to math, grammar, and science and let parents worry about religion and sexuality. Unless you’re structuring an optional theology course with intros to Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, etc. or a sexuality class that says, “Here’s how the plumbing works, it’s up to your parents to instruct you on the appropriate use of the plumbing.”
With an open system comes bottom feeders (email has spammers, phone lines have telemarketers, free speech has haters, bigots, and dissemblers on both sides). If you shut the haters and bigots out of the marketplace of ideas, then you no longer have a marketplace. I would never say censor Dobson, but I reserve the right to make easy blog fodder out of him as well.
What’s your position on gay adoption rights?
I never mentioned ignorance or hate. I just want a level playing field. If you want to convert a people for the next generation you start with the kids because, to use a line from “Meet the Fockers,” their minds are like a sponge. They pick up everything. If the homosexuals are just trying to promote tolerance (with is the most abused word in the english language) then why not start with teens in their human sexuality portions of Health class. When you allow one way of thinking, and only one way as I mentioned before, then a bias exists (the same bias that republicans are trying to exert over democrats in one of Rusty’s prior blogs). I just want a level playing field.
I will give you that the regular Joe and Jane Gay are just wanting to get laid, and have a relationship, but the ones that have pushed for a paradigm shift such as what I mentioned before in California are trying to win recruits, because as Rusty put it before they will die off.
BTW how can homosexuality be hereditary when two men, or two women fucking obviously does not allow for genetic mitosis to occur?
A little bit of crossfire there, it appears.
I have no problem with gays adopting as long as they are put up to equally rigorous standards that the heterosexual child will. Parents will influence their children about many things, but I know that the most important thing is that the child is loved, given a safe place, and allowed to succeed. I thin that these things can be accomplished in both a straight and a gay environment.
All that’s fantastic, but we have to realize that schools (apparently only schools in California) are allowing gay couples explain why they are how they are BECAUSE the parents aren’t doing it and because homosexuality is being dubbed a sin and illegal and everything else the religious right can think to call it. The issue here shouldn’t be whether homosexuality is right or wrong. The last time I checked the only person who judges me when my time comes is God, not Bush or Dobsen (or whatever the hell his name is) or Eric or Rusty. The issue should be acceptance of other people and their choice (if indeed there is one) of lifestyles. This fellow, Dobson, is fighting the release of a cartoon promoting acceptance and inclusion because it includes gay people instead of just differently colored ones.
Look at the person nearest you. Does he or she look and act exactly like you? Do get along with that person anyway? If not, you’re just the person Dobsun needs. If, however, you do get along with people who aren’t your physical and mental twin then surely you must realize acceptance doesn’t stop at liking a different type of food or sex. Some people are vegetarians, I don’t understand but I also don’t care. I eat meat (who laughed? you know what I’m trying to say) but I’m not going to persecute those who don’t. Sexual preference is just like that. . . Except I don’t eat that meat.
Oh, and I thought this article might be of interest to the crowd. Although I’ve forgetten what it was now that I’ve written that previous, horribly chaotic comment.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6869976/
Brad,
Gay people pay taxes too, and I’m sure they disagree with the way many other tax dollars are spent, so the education secretary doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Regarding your first comment, much as I disagree with the way people from the Religious Right generally choose to raise their kids, and much as I understand many parents are too lazy to teach their kids anything, I simply disagree with you. I don’t trust public school teachers to give either side a fair shake if they feel strongly about a given issue.
If you start using the school as place to indoctrinate kids with moral values, it doesn’t make it better just because they’re values you agree with. To do so is to validate the Religious Right’s position that schools should teach kids to be self-righteous, gay-hating, and vagina-fearing.
You missunderstood where I was coming from. I totally agree with you, I was simply saying that the modern mom and dad are too scared of giving their kids a psychosis of some sort to talk with them about these things and consiquently blame the schools for not teaching it. You’re absolutely right to be suspicious of using a teacher to introduce controversial topics to students (see creationism vs. evolution).
I remember a video of a gradeschool teacher from the 60’s or 70’s trying to teach her students to be accepting of people who are of another color by telling them one day the kids with a certain eye color where better than the others and then carrying the charade through the rest of the day. She then reversed the inequalities the next day so that the other group would see how it felt to be treated like they treated the “dumb” kids the previous day. It was good and it seemed to work, but the parents should have already been working with their children on this.
Back on the sexuality topic, the one and only “conversation” my dad and I had regarding sex occured when I was a teenager and was already sexually active. It went something like this:
Dad: “I know you probably know more about sex than I do so I just wanted to tell you that I trust you and think that abstinence is the best policy.”
Me: “Uh, okay.”
Brad and Rusty, Why should a parent of a five old be forced into having a conversation about anything other than how was kindergarten, are you hungry, and what is your favorite cartoon? As the parent of a (almost) five year old I feel that this makes me an expert on this issue. Hell my son is confused about what he wants to be when he grows up…mainly because he sees Spiderman, Anakin Skywalker, and the Red Ranger from Power Rangers as future occupation choices.
As for the way the “Religious Right” raise their children (again an issue I am an expert on since my parents are a part of this group, and by the way I haven’t thrown around Leftist Communist yet have I? So lets leave the name calling to a minimum) what is so wrong about what they teach? They teach good solid morals (according to any beliefs except ones that teach there kids to drive into buildings with bombs), they teach people to care about others, and they stress abstinence (lets think about all of the problems that have come from getting “strange” over the last several years). I have no problems with this child reering technique. It is the popular belief that Christians are against tolerance, but it is my contention that if a Christian disagrees with something that they are doing then that makes them intolerant, but if someone bags on Christianity and talks about how it is a foolish belief or a belief that is based around people who are weak-minded then they are immediately among the high and mighty psuedointellectual movement that has taken over this country and made it that if you are a straight, semi-religious, white male then you are automatically the benefactors of whatever kept down those less fortunate.
When I say “Religious Right,” I’m referring to the Jerry Falwells and James Dobsons of the world, not everyone who considers themselves religious; people who want to regulate behavior through legislation. I don’t automatically assume anyone is part of that group until I’ve heard them speak.
I wrote at least twice in previous comments that schools should stay out of the business of moral and religious counseling, and stick to basics like math, grammar, and science, which they seem to have a tough enough time with as it is. From my perspective, it seems like we mostly agree on this point.
And, as “Leftist Communist” goes, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I have a heavy libertarian streak in me, which probably makes my current alignment with Democrats seem strange. My biggest problem with the Republicans right now is how the Bush White House has used the “War on Terror” as an excuse to wage an assault on civil liberties; at the state level, Glenn Richardson’s anti-dissent House rules represent the most anti-democratic set of principles I’ve ever witnessed in following American politics.
There will be a day when I can vote for Republicans again, but not with the current leadership.
First of all, the “Religious Right” doesn’t teach anything. The “Religious Right” force feeds people the morals that the right feels are important (what’s more communistic than that?). Blue laws, anti-gay marriage laws, and anti-abortion laws come immediately to mind. I feel that if someone wants a lapdance and a beer on Sunday that’s their choice. If Tom and Bill want to get married, that’s their choice. If a Sally wants an abortion that’s her choice. None of those things affect me, my family, or any other third party in anyway whatsoever.
Now that that’s out of the way, who’s forcing you to have that conversation? The guy pointing out that some one is gay or the child who only sees two people of the same sex hanging out together? If your child, at five years old, is astute enough to pick up on the sexuality of a couple without outside help he’s a genious. If the outside help is coming from the school, go talk to your school board because it shouldn’t be, you’re right about that.
I’m not familiar with the “popular belief that Christians are against tolerence.” I am, however, familiar with emerging pattern of some Christians trying to lead a crusade against people’s right to use their God given free will to choose how to live (again, if there is indeed a choice, if there isn’t a choice God made them that way so it’s a moot point). We all know that all Christians aren’t like this, but it seems like there are more and more every day. I don’t want anybody telling me how to live my life or how to raise my children or who I should hate and who I should like. If you don’t want to like homosexuals, that’s fine because that’s your choice. If Dubsen feels the same way, again, that’s his choice. Let’s just not make it a national issue because it’s not. It’s a personal one.
Read my remarks before. I have no problem with gays. I have a problem with people saying everything you think is wrong, and everything you think is good. Too many things are being generalized here. Schools should be out of this, I think it is very important. The tolerance issue is the one what I am talking about when people think because “DOBSON” disagrees now he is instantly intolerant. I agree with much of what he says, but not everything. Just like I side with the President on many things, but not all of them…which we have discussed before Rusty. I respect other opinions whether I agree or disagree…except for Yoko. That bitch must die!!!!
DEATH TO YOKO!
Yes, we do agree on this. I respect your opinion, Eric, and I appreciate that you’ve remained civil in expressing it. Flame wars bore the piss out of me.
Okay, we’re more or less in agreeance. Just from two differant sides of the coin. Except for the Yoko thing. Don’t know what Yoko you’re referring to. So, since I can’t get as fired up about it as you two:
YOKO CAN GET A MILD ILLNESS!!!!